| opening tease - computer desk - day 1 penelope
enters
penelope
Hi cutie.
giovanni
You mean cutie "BUTT"?
penelope
No, your butt isn't cutie anymore.
giovanni
What?
penelope
It's uncutie, cutie.
giovanni
Isn't my butt the same as it was last week?
penelope
No - Don't you see what's happened to your butt?
giovanni
I can't see my butt!
penelope
Nooo. LAST week your butt was round and cutie. THIS week your
butt is flat and uncutie. Cutie.
giovanni
WHAT have I DONE that has caused my butt to go flat?
penelope
Your round cutie butt must have been hanging around a flat
uncutie but.
giovanni
But wait - all I've been doing lately is playing golf with
…ugh …. JUSTIN!
penelope
Ahha! "The King of THE flat butts"!
giovanni
You think my butt went flat because it was hanging out with a
flat butt?
penelope
Butts think a like.
giovanni
MY butt doesn't.
penelope
A butt's shape can change in an instant.
giovanni
MY butt doesn't.
penelope
Have you been watching your butt?
giovanni
I can't see my butt!
penelope
Well if you had been watching your butt all last week, as I
was, you would have seen your booty becoming more and more uncutie, cutie.
giovanni
So then why are you calling me "cutie" if my booty
is uncutie, cutie?
penelope
Because you get this cute face cutie when I tell you your
booty is uncutie, cutie.
giovanni
You mean that if I bond with Justin my butt will go flat?
penelope
Like an American tire on an suv truck.
giovanni
What?
penelope
Like a stack of plywood in the lumber department at Home
Depot.
giovanni
I think you are ON something.
penelope
Well it ain't your butt. That would be like sitting on
Plymouth Rock. Ouch!
giovanni
I resent that! It's one thing Penelope to insult someone's
butt. It's another to hurt their feelings.
She squeezes his butt.
Hey!
penelope
See. Your butt HAS feeling.
She squeezes his butt again.
giovanni
Hey! Stop that!
penelope
Sorry cutie pie.
giovanni
Cute what?
penelope
Cutie PIE.
giovanni
Cutie pie? There is nothing PIE about me.
penelope
You have cutie pie legs, cutie. Your cutie pie legs remind me
of shepherd's pie, cute pie.
giovanni
I didn't know that shepherds have good legs?
penelope
Haha. Silly. Shepherd's pie is a dish. A meal. And your legs
look so delicious. I just want to eat them all the way up to the end and when I get to
your butt ….
giovanni
Yes.
penelope
I'll feel nauseous.
She squeezes his butt again
giovanni
Hey!
penelope
See lots of feeling.
opening credits
Act one scene one - PRODUCTION OFFICE - day 1 continued
sarah (on the phone)
Hi Eric, this is Sarah Louise Porto at Television Internet
and I wanted to talk to about the press release that I sent your newspaper regarding the
premiere of our new series at Television Internet and ….
… YES, I'm MIGUEL's girlfriend. …Yes the same
Miguel who writes for the Daily Digital Trade Magazine … Yes Miguel DID do a fabulous
front page article on us last week … NO he didn't run that article because I SLEPT
with him …. WHAT!
Go to hell! You don't know where that is? Get on the 405,
head south get off… ugh!
He hangs up.
justin
What happened?
sarah
He hung up on me before I could give him directions to hell.
The nerve of some people
justin
He was a newspaper editor?
sarah
Yes and apparently very JEALOUS that my boyfriend Miguel gave
us a front page article in his magazine last week.
justin
He was Jealous?
sarah
Let me put it this way. He asked if Miguel's position for the
article was as good as his POSITION IN BED.
justin
Oh my.
sarah
I'm not some SLUT! I work for my articles. I'm an
accomplished press agent with years of experience. Is it MY fault that the editor of the
city's biggest trade magazine happens to just be my SEX SLAVE?
justin
SARAH!
sarah
My BOY TOY!
justin
SARAH!
sarah
My big fried plantain coming out of an enchilada grande with
….
justin
SARAH! I know you job is publicity, but do you also have to
publicize your SEX LIFE!
sarah
Well, I think this is SIMPLY outrageous what is happening.
Ever since my boyfriend Miguel ran that article on Television Internet last week, all the
editors of the other publications just laugh at me when I try to pitch them an article. I
can just see what they are saying about me at the health club.
"Hey butch, hey guys, there goes Sarah Louise Porto. She
can't get a story standing up. Budabing."
justin
Standing up?
sarah
Hello.
justin
Ohhhhh. I - I DO IT standing up. And even with head stands.
So I just didn't get that. Sorry a little slow.
sarah
Ya right.
Giovanni enters
giovanni
Justin I was wondering - oh my Goddddddd! Sarah!
He hugs her. She doesn't move.
How long have you been back?
sarah
A week.
giovanni
A week? What?! Have you been HIDING from me? It's hard for
someone like you to hide. I'm sure I would have seen YOU. It's sort of hard for someone
like you to not be seen walking down the hall.
sarah
So I'mmmm FAT?
giovanni
That's not what I meant. What I meant is … I missed you.
sarah
Oh. Thanks.
giovanni
So …. how was Cancun?
Justin (to gio)
Cancun was peachy, "peachy butt". Just Leave Cancun
alone.
giovanni
Dude, Sarah can answer for herself. Sarah is a grown adult
woman.
sarah
So apparently I'm fat AND old.
giovanni
NOOO I didn't mean it that way. What I meant to say was
… did you ….. MISS ME?
sarah
Well …. No.
justin
Ouch.
giovanni
giovanni stutters like a skipping record
Because -- because -- becuz --- becuz -- becuzzzzzzzz
just slaps his back to stop the skipping.
I wanted to know if you want to declaw this stray cat
that I found.
sarah
What?
giovanni
Sorry I'm jetlagged.
sarah
You didn't go anywhere. I did.
giovanni
Yes you diddddd. You did! You did! Sooooo when are you coming
back from where you went?
justin
Giovanni!
giovanni
Sarah - What I wanted to ask you is … there is this
great new coffee shop ….
justin
Oh, Don't say it.
giovanni
… that just opened up down the block and they have an
enormous selection of the dark roast Colombian coffee that you like and ….
justin
Don't say it.
giovanni
…. so I was wondering …
justin
Don't wonder and don't say it.
giovanni
… If you like a grab a cup of coffee for a DATE?
justin
He said it.
sarah
Absolutely not. Are you crazy!
giovanni
Why not?
sarah
I have a boyfriend.
giovanni
Okay. Soooo, HOW does that work?
justin
Dude!
giovanni
Why do YOU have a boyfriend? I'm not getting this.
sarah
Because he loves me, and oh yes ….. the sex is earth
shattering.
She exits.
justin
So, did you get it?
giovanni
No, I never got it.
justin
Well you certainly ain't going to get it now.
Act one scene two - computer desk - day 1 continued
giovanni
This is YOUR fault Justin. Why didn't you warn me?
justin
When I waved my arms and jump up and down like a total hyper
Alabama spazzzzz, what did that look like to you?
giovanni
Normal.
justin
Funnnnnnny!
giovanni
If I was making an absolute FOOL of myself in front of Sarah.
You should have grab my lips and CLOSED them shut.
justin
Woooo - Dude - I'm not going to touch those lips. I don't
know where those lips have been.
giovanni
I didn't hear what the hell came out of my mouth
justin
I did. HELL came out of your mouth. Listen …
giovanni
You know I ..
justin
I think ..
giovanni
… never have problems
justin
… that you need to focus on the show.
giovanni
… getting a word out with women.
justin
… maybe the first act.
giovanni
It's YOU that I can never get a word out with!
justin
What did you say?
giovanni
A boyfriend? Why would Sarah have a boyfriend?
justin
Because the sex is mind blowing.
giovanni
I thought the sex was earth shattering?
justin
Mind blowing! Earth shattering! What the HELL is the
difference?
giovanni
Welllll, if it was earth shattering, our planet would be
destroyed. If it was just mind blowing, we still have the earth --- just with a lot of
people standing around with their minds blown out.
justin
Sort of like the one standing next to me right now.
giovanni
Some friend you are!
justin
What?! What did I do?
giovanni
You should have warned me that Sarah was back for a week and
that Sarah had problems with me.
justin
But but but
giovanni
Instead you had me playing "GOLLLLF" with you day
after day … DEFLATING my butt with GOLLLLF.
justin
I thought you'd like GOLF?
giovanni
Not if it's going to FLATTEN MY BUTT.
justin
What? Golf doesn't flatten your butt.
giovanni
How would YOUU know? You already have a flat butt.
justin
Who told you that golf flattens your butt?
giovanni
Justin, if YOUR butt was any flatter, people would think
YOU'RE a buttless person.
justin
Okay, waitttt. Two guys standing around talking about each
other's butts is just a litttttttle bit scary for me bro.
GIOVANNI
Fine. I'm not playing golf anymore.
justin
What! Why not?
giovanni
Not only do you ruin my butt, but I can never get my balls in
my cup.
justin
Hey! Watch it! This is a family network!
giovanni
You don't train me to get my balls in the cup so why should I
have you affect my butt.
justin
Dude, I'm not going anywhere near your butt, balls, or
cup.
giovanni shows his legs
giovanni
Well then LOOK! I have "cutie pie legs".
justin
What?! Come on dude.
giovanni
Look at them Justin! These are genuine cutie pie legs!
You've already taken away my cutie butt. Is your next step to
take my cutie pie legs also?!
justin
BREAKING NEWS TO GIOVANNI! I don't want your legs.
giovanni
They're not just legs. They're CUTIE PIE legs!
justin
I don't want your cut-ie PEG legs either.
giovanni
Not PEG legs. PIE legs. Uh! Shepherds would kill to have my
legs.
justin
Lucky for you, bro, I'm no Shepherd.
giovanni
Hello!
justin (grabs a stick)
But Yes I can visualize this -
"Hey sheep, this your Shepherd here talking into his
staff …. Stay here and chew on some grass for a second. That includes you too over
there lamp chop. I'll be back in a minute. I have to kill Giovanni for his legs."
giovanni
That's it! I've had with you! You don't care to tell me that
Sarah sees problems with me and then you ridicule me about my cutie pie legs. …
No wonder WOMEN you play GOLF with always tell you you don't
know what do with them when you are down in the ruff!
Justin
Ugh! They don't say anything of the sort!
giovanni storms out
Wait - I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. So maybe your
legs are cutie peg legs cutie … BASTARD!
Act one scene three - chairs - day 1 continued
penelope enters with justin
penelope
Hi Barth.
Justin
Hi Barth
barth
Hi Folks! I just got off the phone with the venture
capitalists. They screened the pilot for the series to a test audience in Silicon Valley
and it got rave reviews! So they want to premiere OUR NEW TELEVISION INTERNET SERIES, THE
SEQUEL TO MUSCLE BEACH, next week!
justin
Awesome! I need a smoke.
looks for a lighter
penelope
Next week? Oh that's fabulous sweetie darling.
barth
Yes, but I'm so exhausted from all this work. What a time for
me to need my assistant, my Foxy. I hope Foxy is okay?
penelope
I'm sure Foxy is grand.
barth
No Foxy is quite skinny.
justin
Righttt.
Penelope - do you have a lighter in your purse?
penelope
Yes. Next to all the condoms. (Haha).
justin
God you had me there for a minute.
penelope
Don't you wish!
penelope (to barth)
Barth has anyone found Foxy?
barth
No one can find her - the police, the FBI, the CIA,
interpoll. I'm starting to think she's missing.
justin
That's logical. I think COLUMBO would agree with that.
barth
No. To tell you the truth, I think Foxy has left me.
penelope
Left you?
barth
Yes. I don't think Foxy loved me so she left me.
he cries and puts his head on penelope shoulder. she rubs his hair
and her hands get stuck in his hair from the stickiness.
penelope
Oh sweetie. Here here here.
barth
You know how I am feeling?
penelope (to barth)
Yes. I can feel it on my hands.
Barth
I miss my Foxy. But I don't know if my Foxy misses me. Oh
heck - I'm a guy, I need to move on.
Remember that speed dating party when I got phone numbers
from 11 girls?
justin
And they were CUTE. You know what you should do?
barth
I know exactly what you two are thinking….
Penelope/justin
You do?
barth
Yes. I'm going to call all 11 girls and see if they know
where Foxy is!
Penelope/justin
Right.
Act one scene four - production office - day 1 (continued)
giovanni
Brandy, I don't know how to say this. I have a serious
question for you.
brandy
Oh gosh Giovanni. Yes. Please. Let me hold your hand. What is
it dear?
giovanni
Is my booty no longer debootlicious?
brandy
What?
brandy
Is my butt flat?
brandy
Compared to who, Justin?
giovanni
Oh god. It's not THAT flat, is it?
brandy
Let me look -
She looks
Oh God. Your butt IS flat. Has someone given you a
butt cold?
giovanni
Yes. His name is Justin Chase!
brandy
Justin?
giovanni
Yes. He had me play golf over and over again and according to
Penelope ever since I started playing that stupid game my butt has gone flat.
brandy
Like a pancake.
giovanni
You're not making this any easier.
brandy
Like cardboard.
giovanni
PLEASE! I'm so angry at Justin. Guys are suppose to look out
for other guys butts.
brandy
Exactly. (I think.)
giovanni
Like how you girls look out for each other's butts.
brandy
You know, Justin has also had ME playing golf around the
clock lately. Oh no - this booty ain't lost its jelly also?
giovanni
Let me check. Oh wait, it has.
brandy
What?
giovanni
I'm not seeing ANY jelly. Not even chunky peanut butter.
brandy
Oh no!
giovanni
But I AM seeing FLAT BREAD.
brandy
What! Are you sure that I've lost my booty?
giovanni
Yes, I watch your booty all the time and um - I didn't mean
it that way.
brandy
This is awful! What type of sport is that damn Golffff if it
ruins people's booties.
giovanni
Exactly.
brandy
I spend a lot of effort trying to make this booty
debutilicious.
giovanni
And me to make my booty a cutie booty.
brandy
But NOW I don't have a debootilicious booty.
giovanni
Or a cutie booty.
justin enters
justin
Hey folks.
giovanni
There's HE IS.
brandy
Yesssss. The BOOTY snatcher!
justin
What!
brandy
You couldn't live being the only one with no booty here --
nooooo you had to take my booty also. You booty snatcher!
giovanni
And mine too.
brandy
That is SO like you Justin.
justin
What?
brandy
I'm never going to play golf again.
giovanni
Me too.
justin
But I have to have someone to play golf with.
giovanni
Then get someone who has a flat butt to play golf with.
brandy
Like Lassie!
justin
Dogs don't have butts. They have rumps.
brandy
Ugh! The nerve!
giovanni
He doesn't have to look at HIS butt all day long. Let's go
and return our golf clubs.
brandy
Me too
justin
What?
brandy
Go play with your own wood alone. I've had it with GOLF.
Brandy and giovanni storm out. penelope enters
justin
What did I do?
penelope
Hey cutie butt.
justin
Excuse me?
penelope
Oh nice Cutie butt Justin. You know, your butt has been
looking more round lately. What have you been doing?
Justin
Playing more golf.
penelope
I think the more golf you play, the bigger your butt gets.
Justin
Really? Then I need to play more golf.
penelope
Haha.
Act one scene five - lobby - day 1 (continued)
sarah enters. fakes angry at penelope.
sarah
Hi Barth. Oh … helloooooo Penelope. I see you haven't
left.
penelope
Oh. And I see YOU'RE BACK.
sarah
Yes. Here I am.
penelope
I saw some extra hair falling on the floor. So I figured YOU
must have returned.
sarah
Well I've been smelling some different men's cologne each day
this week. And when I realized it wasn't any of the guys, I realized it was you. Now what
would you be doing wearing a different man's cologne every day of the week?
sarah
Barth - can you excuse us for a moment. There is someone's
butt I have to whip.
barth
Oh sure.
Barth exits. Penelope and sarah look to see if the cost is clear.
They show their true character - conspiring friends.
penelope
Is he gone? haha
sarah
Haha He's gone!
penelope
So how's the trick about Giovanni and his butt working?
sarah
Haha. I don't know.
penelope
Haha. If you see him, tell him his butt looks awful.
sarah
Like?
penelope
Like a flat pint of Guinness.
sarah
Perfect! I'll just replace the Guinness with an American
beer.
penelope
There you go.
Act one scene six - production office - day 1 (continued)
They do a butt dance
brandy
See I heard if you shake your butt really hard, faster and
faster, you booty will bounce back into shape. Let's go.
giovanni
I feel like I'm an extra for the movie Flashdance! Ouch you
sure? This hurts.
brandy
I don't see your booty shaking.
giovanni
It's shaking. There is just no more booty left to shake.
they stop
brandy
I'm exhausted.
Giovanni, learning that I have no booty is the worst thing
that has ever happened to me this year!
giovanni
What? How about me? My butt is my best asset.
brandy
If I don't have a booty, it is the END of the world for ME.
giovanni
What do you mean?
brandy
This baby's got to have back.
giovanni
What?
brandy
This baby's got to have back.
giovanni
I thought it was your butt you were worried about.
brandy
If I don't have back, no player will ever want me.
giovanni
What do baseball players have to do with your back?
brandy
I can see it now. Justin will dump me because I have no
booty. If I walk into a Sunset Strip club one night bootyliness, I can see what the guys
are going to say to me.
brandy (as bm)
He Baby. I'm Butt Maverick. Hey but, you can call me Butt.
giovanni (as mf)
And hi. I'm Mercedes Ferrari. But you can also call me
"butt."
brandy
Ya, Maybe if I was looking at your face. Budabing. Budaboo.
giovanni (as mF)
Excuse me?
brandy (as MF)
Tell me ms. Thang, have you been discovered?
giovanni (as MF)
No why?
brandy (as BM)
Because if Christopher Columbus had discovered you, he would
have realized the world is flat. Budabing, pivot, fade, jumper, swoosh, nothing but net!!!
giovanni (AS MF)
You know Butt Maverick, I think I've seen your flat butt
around here before
brandy (as mf)
I have a brother. His name is Richard Maverick. But everyone
call him Dick Mav - ..
justin enters
giovanni
Alright! Let's get back to our booty exercises
brandy
Shake your booty more boy.
justin
What are you two doing?
brandy
I'm trying to get my booty back.
justin
Where did you booty go?
giovanni
To Alabama! Where do you THINK my booty went?
brandy
Jesus, please give my booty back.
Justin
Girl - Jesus does not have your booty.
brandy
Hold my booty Giovanni and tell me if its growing.
He holds her butt as she shakes and he shakes.
giovanni
No it's not growing, but something else is growing.
Justin
Hey! Get your hands off my woman's booty!
brandy (to jus)
This ain't your booty. You were given a booty before and you
lost it. So take the boot! Bootilless booty boy!
brandy and giovanni booty shake out. barth enters.
barth
What was that? A fox trot?
justin
No foxes don't have butts.
end Act one
Act two scene one - lobby - day 2 (new day)
barth
So here's the rundown for the premiere.
justin
Yes. It all looks good. Man, I am glad we are done early
today. I'm exhausted.
barth
Can you please get that cigarette out of my face.
justin
Sorry dude.
barth
I like working with you Justin.
justin
You too bro. Sooooo … want to go hit some golf balls?
barth
Golf? Um ….
justin
Just us guys on the golf course. It's awesome dude.
barth
I don't really PLAY golf.
justin
Oh you'll love it. It's fun. And It's relaxing. And It's
soothing.
barth
And It ruins your butt.
justin
It doesn't ruin your butt!
barth (looking at his butt)
How long have you had that condition?
justin
Listen, damn it, I need someone to play golf with.
barth
Isn't that what a caddy is for?
justin
The caddy doesn't play golf. The guy carries your balls
….
barth
What?
justin
He carries your sack of balls.
barth
I don't think I want to play this sport.
justin
Why? English guys all play golf.
barth
Now I DEFINITIELY don't want to play this sport.
justin
I need to have someone to play golf with.
barth
Doesn't Neiman Marcus sell robots in their Christmas catalog
that can follow you around on the golf course.
Justin
Barth!
barth
Besides, Giovanni and I are going out to dinner tonight.
justin
You're going without me?
barth
Well you'll be fine. You'll be playing golf while we will be
finding some women. See that's difference between us and you - we just have different
priorities. Golf. Women.
justin
Hey, there are sometimes some serious good-looking women on
the golf course.
barth
Yes. Only problem is that my technique is so bad that as soon
as I get near I will probably hit them in the face with my balls.
barth exits
justin
Hey, most chics like that.
Act two scene two - production office - day 2 (CONTINUED)
giovanni is doing butt exercises
sarah (on the phone)
Hi Kit. This is Sarah from Television Internet and I wanted
to talk to you about this press release for the premiere of our new series and ….
Yes, I AM dating Miguel at the Daily Digital Coast Magazine. So about the article, since
the premiere of Television Internet's series is BIG news, I was thinking of possible
placements for the story. I was thinking of you having me in the center … Yes having
me down the middle … Yes in the center. Yes and …. PERVERT!
giovanni
Sex?
sarah
Yes. How unprofessional
giovanni
A guy?
sarah
No a woman. Yuck.
giovanni
Yum.
She smacks him.
Ouch! I was just kidding.
sarah
What are you doing?
giovanni
I'm doing butt exercises.
sarah
Who told you that you need butt exercises?
giovanni
Oh no one. I'm always trying to improve my almost perfect
butt.
sarah
Really, you're butt looks a little flat to me.
giovanni
It's not flat. I can't see it - is it still flat?
sarah
It's flat. Like a bad domestic beer.
giovanni
Well, that's just temporary. I assume your …. BOYFRIEND
probably also has a flat butt.
sarah
Oh no. His butt is enflated.
giovanni
Inflamed?
sarah
Enflated. Are you still jet lagged?
giovanni
No I'm not jet legged anymore…. So I guess you're happy
with this guy.
sarah
Miguel?
giovanni
Miguel. What type of name is Miguel?
sarah
It's Cancunish.
giovanni
Cancunish? There is not such word.
sarah
But once he cancunes you, you wish there was a word.
giovanni
Alright this is where I'm leaving.
sarah
Oh, and by the way? Work on that butt. You need it.
Act two scene three - computer desk - day 2 (CONTINUED)
Telephone rings. justin is holding a cigarette
justin
Telephone!
penelope (to barth)
I'm busy. You get that sweetie
barth
I want you to get it.
She bends over barth.
justin
Nice bro!
penelope
Ugh! Men!
Hello! Hiiiii Foxy!
He grabs the phone
barth (on the phone)
Foxy! My love - where have you been?! Well you get your damn
butt back here! We are short on butts here. We are having a butt fiasco! … Yes,
exactly, I want your "bloody blimmie arse". Bye. Love you.
he hangs up the phone
penelope
Wow, so aggressive Barth.
barth
You got to show a woman who's in control of her bloody
blimmie arse.
justin
Exactly!
Barth (meek)
Is my butt flat too?
penelope
What? Haha.
barth
Why are you laughing?
penelope
That was just a gag Sarah and I played on Giovanni - I told
Giovanni that when you play golf your butt goes flat.
barth
It doesn’t?
penelope
Of course not.
justin
Penelope - no one wants to play golf with me because of your
damn trick!
penelope
It's justgolf. You know golf originated in England. It's the
Queen's game.
barth
That why Justin plays it.
Act two scene FOUR - production office - day 2 (continued)
justin
Hey Baby. I apologize for Penelope.
brandy
What did Penelope do?
justin
She and Sarah told Giovanni that his butt was going flat from
Golf. It was a little game.
brandy
So is my booty still debootlicious?
justin
As debootilicous as always baby. Ooh baby.
brandy (smells his breath)
Yuck! Justin!
justin
What's wrong booty baby?
brandy
Have you been smoking again.
justin
Well.
brandy
Justin.
justin
Brandy.
brandy
Justinnnnnn.
justin
I'm nervous about the premiere of our series. It's a big
moment for me in my life.
brandy
Damn it Justin.
justin
And my daddy, Daddy Chase, and mama are flying in to
celebrate the premiere. This is big baby.
brandy
Oh what a proud moment sweetie.
Giovanni enters doing booty exercies
justin (to gio)
What are you doing?
giovanni
Excuse me. This is where I do my booty exercises.
justin
Penelope!
Justin and brandy exit. penelope enters. sarah sneaks in.
penelope
Hi cutie butt.
giovanni
What did you call me?
penelope
You have that a great shepherd's nose.
sarah (whisper)
Leggggs.
penelope
What?
sarah (whisper)
Legggggs.
giovanni
Sarah! Penelope! Is this some type of joke?
girls
Haha.
giovanni
Oh you twoooo. Oh my God. I've never been so embarrassed. My
butt needs a vacation.
Barth enters
barth
Let's get these butts to work! Let's see that butt moving!
They all start doing butt exercises. telephone rings.
penelope
Telephone!
barth
You get it again Scotty.
giovanni
I'll get it.
Giovanni bends over to get the phone
girls
Mmm! The butt is back
giovanni (on the phone)
Hello! Yes - I can't hear you.
giovanni
Wait, Sarah you take this.
sarah (on the phone)
This is Sarah Louise Porto. Oh hi Ms. Chase, it must be two
years since we last spoke. How are you, how's Justin's Dad, on the golf course I bet
….
long dramatic pause and then ….
What. Oh my god.
end act two
act three - lobby - day 2 (continued)
sitting. justin pops breath mints into his mouth.
justin
See. I got five breath mints in there. You'll be kissing a
sea of alpine delicious breath mints. Yodaladehehoo!
sarah enters.
brandy
Sarah! What's wrong.
sarah
Justin, you're mom called about your dad.
justin
Oh, what day next week are they flying in for the premiere of
our show?
sarah
They're not coming.
justin
Why not?
sarah
Justin, last night your father had a massive heart attack.
His lungs collapsed. I'm sorry, Justin. Your father passed away this morning.
justin
Fuck.
Justin takes the cigarettes out of his pocket and throws them across
the room. |
